


One Step Back

by Kazoke



Category: Death Note
Genre: Anime, BoyxBoy, Deathnote - Freeform, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-10 00:55:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4371020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kazoke/pseuds/Kazoke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Beating Near become a silly game for Matt, and to me an obsession."<br/>~<br/>What happens when Mellos obsession to catch Near interferes with him and Matts relationship?</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Step Back

"Okay, good." I say inspecting the shuddering woman clutching tightly to the towel wrapped around her. I get up and place the support hat on my head, i fix the bill down a bit creating a shadow over my eyes.

"You're going to have to stay in here for awhile." I open the door to the van before turning to her. "And i dont want to hear a peep, got it?" I make sure to sound strict and intimidating to her, and its not that hard considering she is affiliated with Kira- the same Kira that killed L.

She nods quickly, and without a word i make my exit in my delivery man disguise, closely clutching the box containing news anchor and spokesperson of Kiras clothing and personal belongs on her at the time i kidnapped her. Who wouldve thought it would have been so simple? Well i couldnt have done it so easily if Lidner hadnt been there to escort her to my motor bike.

This woman was obviously a key to discovering Kira's true identity. Maybe if Near did things my way and didn't cling to his pacifist philosophy so tightly he might of been able to crack the kira case. Perhaps L, may he rest in peace, would have been capable of it too. That was his only flaw, well that and trusting Light Yagami. Who is the most suspected of being Kira. Their softness will and has been the wreck of them.

Now all there was to it was to meet with Matt and question Lady Takada. I grinned as i climbed into the drivers side of the van.

This time, i am one step ahead of Near.

I set the box with a couple others that was left by the real delivery man. I start the machine up and drive to the abandoned warehouse. I pull off my disguise and turn on the mini tv set thats hooked in the car. The news instantly pops up. Of course Lady Takadas kidnapping has been breaking news, she is the most popular spokeswoman at the moment.

"Just in: a man believed of being apart of Lady Takadas kidnapping has been shot and killed by police. As the punishment should be to those who act out against Kira." A news anchor says. I get an uneasy feeling in my stomach as i turn the volume up. could it be...? No, it could be any kira rebel.

"The man who was shot has still not been identified." I slam the break and gasp staring wide eyed at the screen. I can hear a thump in the back- most likely Takada hitting a wall from the abrupt stop.

It shows... his car and his body sprawled on the ground in a pool of blood. A cigarette in his cold unmoving lips.

"Matt..." I whisper, tears forming in the corner of my eyes. 

Matt... i never thought you'd be killed...

I wipe my eyes. Theres no time.

Forgive me.

I resume my driving this time turning off the tv, now displaying re-runs of Matt before his death.

It doesnt matter... i will avenge him.... his death wont be a waste... it doesnt matter, it doesnt matter...

Except, it does.

.  
.  
Matt, like any other at Wammys was a intellectual being of high intelligence. And like all, strived to be like L- the founder of Wammys. He was our inspiration, role model- our idol. Being L's successor was everything to us.

But Near was always number one, and i was one step behind him. And Matt, one behind me.

But number two was and is still no place for me. Being ahead of Near became a silly game to Matt and to me, an obsession.

I spent countless nights, with one hand supporting a book, while the other rapidly took notes. Determination marking my eyes as envy possessed my heart. 

"Still at it?" A voice asked one night. I jerked my head up, my pencil taking a brisk break before starting again at a quicker pace fueled by annoyance. Matt, at only age 14 was a tall male with a level head. He like every teenage boy had an eye for women which was usually contradicted by his passion for video games.

"Leave." I growled, not one to play into Matt's triviality. He put his arms up, unknowing that one day he would lose his life in that exact same pose- the pose of surrender, defeat and to some peace.

"This is a public place, Buddy." He chuckled lightly. "And besides, i forgot these bad boys!" He grabbed his signature orange goggles and slapped them on. a stupid grin pressed to his lips as he looked at me.

"Pretty sick, huh?" He asked cooly sliding a chair up beside me. He flicked a piece of blonde hair from my face as i cringed up my nose.

"What?" I asked. Matt had a taste to use street punk vocabulary as i stuck to proper terms- as it should be.

"Ya know, sick." He said. "Its a cooler term for cool." He made a motion of sliding his hands in front of him, in a smooth motion.

"It just sounds more idiotic." i mumbled trying to focus back on my books.

"Mello, you have a stick shoved up your ass again." Matt chuckled. I gripped my pencil as i glared at him, this only encouraged his fun.

"I hope your face gets frozen like that." He laughed. "Then you can see how stupid you look." he cocked his head at my book.

"Hey, isnt this next semesters book? Why are you working so-"

"Shut up! Leave me alone!" I yelled slamming the book shut, becoming suddenly defensive.His eyes widened as he studied me.

"This is about Near, isnt it?" He asked. I sighed and flipped to a page in the book, extracting a solo piece of paper. I handed it to him.

He brought his goggles into his hair as he read the paper.

"This is your exam? Wow! I only got 89%! this is amazing- how'd you manage to get a 99-"

"Near got a hundred percent." i replied lowly, tears forming in the corners of my eye. 

"I studied days for that test- all if my free time was devoted to that." I sniffed color rising to my cheeks as i realized i was tearing up. "He doesnt even try!" I grabbed my test from and crumpled it up. In a fit of rage i grunted and threw it.

"No matter how hard it try!" I yelled. "i'll never be good enough!" I sniffed the tears streaming down my cheeks. "I'll never be better than him!"

Matt looked startled at seeing my sudden burst of emotion before snapping out of it.   
"H-hey," He said gently. "Whats so important about beating Near-"

"Everything!" I said. "I NEED to be L's successor- its my purpose!"

"Its everyones purpose here!" Matt laughs a bittersweet laugh. "Dont you see that? Its what they tell us, its what they use to motivate us. But in reality, only one of us can be L-"

"Thats why we should work harder." I interrupted. Matt smiled gently and shook his head.

"Is that what you want? I mean, really want." he said. "Maybe... its time you found a new purpose. Your own purpose." He got up, before ruffling my hair and leaving.

I sniffed and fixed my ruffled locks before sighing.

I ignored his advice, but a part of me had changed. I felt... softer.   
.  
.  
A month later the wammy house was full of mourn as our idol L, had been announced dead. cause of death being a horrid heart attack.

Thats when it was announced to Near and i that we could be partners in L's name. I calmly turned down the offer, but on the inside, i was a tidal wave if rage. 

I got into my room and yelled at the top of my lungs as i threw my belongings into a bag. I tore the tests that were taped to the walls and threw them into the waste bin where they belonged. The scores showed signs of an educated scholar but to me they were full of mock and many long nights- wasted. They were like me, not good enough.

I slung my bag over my shoulder and quickly walked out. My eyes squinting a bit to push back the tears- i was done. I was done competing with Near- at least in this way...

"Why're you in such a hurry?" I heard an all to familiar voice ask. I pause for a moment- not needing to turn to see the voices owner. 

"Im leaving." I said, in a clear dignified tone, that let him now my word was set in stone. I meant business. 

"What?" Matt asked jogging to me as i resumed my walk. I tried to appear like i wasnt as horrifically emotionally wounded as i really was.

"They wanted Near and I to be L's successors." I said not looking at him. "So i'm leaving."

"I thought this is what you wanted?" Matt asked, obviously concerned for me. I brushed him off.

"This is far from what i wanted. I would... I would rather die than work with that clod." i growled. Matt grabbed me by my shoulders and stared at me in the eyes.

"Where will you go?" He asked. I shrugged but felt oddly compelled to allow this to go on. I couldve stayed there awhile, just there with Matts large hands on my small shoulders. It was comforting. Especially in a time of crisis such as this.

"I'll find a way to survive." 

Matt laughed bitter sweetly. "Thats so like you... One minute being L's successor is your purpose and now its being homeless." He joked. I shrugged. 

"I'm taking your advice. I'm going to go find my own purpose." I say. No more words were spoken for a period of time as we stared into each others eyes, as though words were not necessary. My eyes were still marked with determination, as his sparkled under his dorky goggles. A warmth fell over me as without using my brain for once, i stood up on my tippy toes and pressed my lips to Matts gently. 

Matts eyes widened as he stared back. Color rose to my cheeks as i realized what i had just done, but not being one to be shy of the consequences of my actions, i stared back. My hard pounded in my chest as my toes curled in my boots. But suddenly, a dorky smile crept across Matts lips.

"I always knew you were gay." He teased. i frowned and pulled away from him, i needed to straighten up!

"Goodbye, Matt." I said turning away. i could tell he was in good humors for a goodbye.

"Goodbye Mello, im sure our paths will cross again!" Matt called after me, waving his arm in the air like an idiot. I blushed and hiked my shoulders up. But a smile crept across my tingling lips as i strolled out of Wammys.

I waved goodbye to Matt one last time, not taking his saying seriously. But little did i know how vital Matt would be to me.  
.  
.  
the next couple of years were spent bing a gang leader and being hot on Kiras tracks, along with Near. But i got the Death Note before him. Not only did this benefit my investigation very much, it proved i was far greater than Near.

But, they of course had to bomb my headquarters. And then, i was all alone. Well not exactly. Matt and i had been dating for a year and a half now. Even though i never got to see him, and hardly told him anything of the kira case to him- he always seemed to know when to be worried.

"Its not that hard to tell when my little troll is angrier than usual," He would joke over the phone. "The world gets a little more heated."

I sighed as i knocked onto the door of Matts apartment. I could hear a few cans rustling around as the tv was paused.

"Just a minute!" He calls. I roll my eyes, for someone with that met with the intellectual requirements to go to Wammys sure is a slob.

He opened the door, his auburn hair tousled showing no signs of care for that day, as he adjusted the black t-shirt that covered him. A newly lit cigarette hung in his lips.

"Oh, its just you." He greeted, stepping aside and letting me in. "I could've just have come to the door shirtless."

I rolled my eyes, typical of Matt to just sit around all day and play video games half naked. I could never understand how someone could just waste a whole day like that.

"Is that how you treat all your house guests?" I question. He shrugs and flops back onto his couch.

"Kinda." He chuckles. "At least the ones i know."

"Ha ha." I dead panned. I didnt bother to sit down.

"So what do you need my little marshMELLO." He chuckled a bit at his own stupid pun, taking his cigarette from between his lips to blow out the smoke.

"Why do you think i need something?" I asked a bit irritated as i crossed my arms over my chest.

Matt chuckled and sat up as he patted the seat beside him in a gesture for me to sit down.

I sighed and sat beside him. He laughed lightly.

"C'mon, Mell, i missed you,-" He pulled me by my hips right into his side. He grinned stupidly at me. 

"Whats with the scar?" He asked studying the prominent burn scar that decorated half of my face.

"Long story." I replied allowing my head to rest into his chest.

"Hm." He kissed the top of my yellow head. "I think you still look cute."

"Cute?" I questioned, not exactly a word anyone had ever used to describe me.

"Lighten up." He said picking my chin up with his pointer finger and thumb. His half lidded eyes stared into mine as he smiled gently at me. He kissed me and i kissed back. His lips were soft and full of passion as my hands cupped his cheeks. We pulled away and looked at each other, we hardly said i love you to eachother. Our eyes did all the talking for us.  
.  
.  
That night i met Matt on his balcony. He was calmly looking out across the city, smoking a cigarette. He didnt turn to me, but i could tell he knew i was there. I came up beside him and leaned on the chilled railing with him.

As i stared out i thought about the Kira case, and what would become of this city if someone- if i didn't put a stop to him. And the look on Near's face  when i claimed my rightful title as L. And for a moment, the thought occurred to me that Matt was also thinking about something, but what?

Probably us.

I felt selfish for a moment but pushed it away, If Matt chose to abandon his purpose so be it. 

"I came to ask you something, Matt." i said clearing my throat. He shrugged.

"Of course you did."

I paused for a moment before sighing. "I need help- i need your help with me on the kira case." 

Matt tensed up, not looking at me. "Are you serious?"

"When have i ever not been?" I asked sneering a bit at his stupid question. Matt looked at me.

"This ONE time, this ONE time can you just say you are kidding?" He asked growing angry. I stared blankly at him.

"Why would i say that?" I asked. he scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Do you realize how many people have died on the kira case? Its not just kira killing people anymore!Its the police, the government- its not worth it Mello. please just give it up." he said, his voice tired and concerned. He didnt know how far i had gone to bring justice to Kira, that i had killed and kidnapped people. Backing down wasnt an option.

"I do realize that."  i said softly. There was a short pause before Matt scoffed and put out his cigarette.

"Unbelievable." He turned away to go inside. I took a step forward but he shot back around.

"This is all for Near! Dont you realize that?  That you've been obsessed with beating Near the moment you both stepped foot into Wammys." He said, his eyes watering up a bit. This was the first time i had ever witnessed an emotion like this out of Matt and i was a bit shocked.

"You care about winning more than you care about me." He laughed bitter sweetly as a tear rolled down his face. My eyes widened as i rushed over to him, i cupped his cheeks im my hands as i stared desperately at him. He placed a hand on mine.

"Thats not true Matt-"

"Then leave." He said. "Leave the Kira case."

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. I just stared at him. He smile weakly.

"Knew it." He turned away from me. "I'll help you Mello. But i cant be with you anymore. We're over."

His words rang in my head as i felt paralyzed in place. I stared wide eyed, wanting to chase after him- but it was too late. He was already gone.  
.  
.  
Working on the case was the hardest thing i have ever done. It was like my heart was being ripped from my chest over and over again- it was unbearable but i never let Matt catch on. But im sure he sensed it, he was a smart kid.

We would ride my motorbike and scan the perimeters. Until one day i noticed a peculiar man step foot from the hotel. I skidded to a stop out in front of the building. Matt hopped off abruptly as i studied the man.

"Matt, you stay here. I'll tail that guy." I said. He was not looking at me but the man that was already making his way down the side walk.

"Okay." He replied, i didnt wait any longer before starting off for the man. I parked my bike in an Alley way and walked quickly towards the man, snatching a newspaper from a homeless man. 

"Hey-!" The man yelled reaching out for paper, but i of course ignored him. I paused by the building and unfolded the paper and pretended to read it. I pushed up my sunglasses and studied the man. He was Japanese, and part of the Japanese Task Force. Meaning that that the building he was just entering was somehow linked to them. And there was also a chance that the new fake 'L' was around...

Just then my phone beeped. I picked it up, seeing that it was Matt.

"Whats the matter, Matt?" I questioned.

"A young woman... Well, a woman who looks like a child... Lives in the room that mogi went into." Matt reported to me. 

"A woman?" I questioned, not thinking much of it at first.

"At first sight she looks like Mogi's girlfriend. They've gone shopping with their arms linked..." I could tell a devilish grin playing on his lips as he continued. "If you'll pardon my expression... Shes an awfully cute Japanese girl. I cant tell her age, but im guessing its anywhere from 14 to 20."

I grit my teeth and clench my fist, crinkling the newspaper in my unforgiving clutch. 

"Are you serious Matt?" I asked.

"Yeah, very serious."

I inhaled and exhaled through my nostrils as i closed my eyes and counted to three in my head. I had to clear my mind to think. Why was he trying to make me jealous at a time like this?

If i believed what Lidner, a person that was investigating with Near, told me, then that woman was the second Kira. Or at least used to be.

"Okay," I replied. "I cant do anything yet, so we'll start with that girl."

I couldnt let my emotions get in the way of the investigation, no matter how strong they were.  
.  
.  
For the next week i had Matt watch out of the most likely Japanese Task Force headquarters, while i eaves dropped on Misa Amane and Mogi in her apartment.

"... Even though Light loves me and trusts me, he may think im having an affair because I've been with you for five whole days under the same roof."

I couldnt believe that girl was the second kira, it was true the man who killed her parents was killed by Kira- but she has made some statements that made her appear as a kira supporter? But if she was the second kira wouldnt it be natural for her to not make any comments like that? I couldn't believe that this girl was killing people with the notebook- but then again, just her having the eyes made her have some worth to kira, but why would he use such an idiotic girl?

Just then my phone rang- it was Matt. I picked it up.

"How's it going for you?" I asked as soon as i answered.

"Boring. I've seen no movement at all. So far they've had all their food delivered and stuff delivered and both aizawa and the other Japanese guy that went in after him havent come out yet. So its most likely their head quarters." He sighed and i could hear the noise from his video game over the phone. "But its so boring, watching something that never changes."

I sighed and leaned back in my chair, my eyes glancing towards my laptop screen displaying Miss. Amanes model website.

"Come on, im doing the same thing. And if L is there, then they may think the SPK tailed Aizawa and discovered their location, so they might decide to move. If you're not careful, they could get away." I explained. He sighed.

"Then why dont you change places with me?" He questioned. "At least you get to eaves drop on a cute girl-"

I hung up after that. He had already produced all the information he had collected and that i needed.  
.  
After Lady Takada became the spokesperson for Kira thats when i saw my chance to solve the kira case- or at least become one step closer to solving it.

I had gone over the plan carefully in my head, Matt would distract the police and Takada's body guards while i snatched Lady Takada. I would most likely be tailed by a few cars so i would drive down a narrow tunnel. After that i was to go to the delivery office, disguise myself as a delivery man, collect all of Takadas personal belongings, hijack a car and meet Matt at an abandon warehouse. There we could question Takada and find Kira's true identity.

I had Matt come over to the hotel i was staying at, this is where i explained this all to him. After i was done he was quiet for a moment.

I stared at him awaiting his input as a bit into a chocolate bar. He suddenly looked up at me, his eyes watering up.

"Mell, thats a suicide mission." He said blinking back tears, his amber goggles were fogging up a bit from the heat in his eyes. 

I felt bad, but we needed to do this in order to get a step ahead of Near. "Not if we do it right." I assured.

He shook his head. "But if one thing- one thing goes wrong, we're dead."

I paused and thought for a moment but he sighed.

"I'll do it." He said. My eyes widened as i looked up at him. He smiled sheepishly.

"You see... Watching a boring building nonstop can get a guy thinking... And well i see what you mean." He paused. "Well kinda. I see shows like Kira's kingdom and other kira propaganda- and how evil and corrupt all the Kira worshippers are. And the numbers only growing- i guess what im trying to say is i dont want to live in a world like that." He grinned again a lit up a cigarette. I coughed waving the smoke away from my face.

"And im sure theres other tactics- less dangerous tactics that wont get us killed. Sure they'll take longer, but this could work... And if it doesnt," He blew out his smoke slowly. "At least i get to die with you."

My eyes widened a bit as i stared at him. He seemed completely neutral about this.

"I thought... I thought we-" i cleared my throat and stiffened up. "What about us breaking up? You even went out of your way to point out how 'cute' the second kira is." I added with disgust.

He chuckled and took another drag from his cigarette. "Your so blind, Mell." He blew out the smoke and toyed the cigarette to the corner of his mouth. "But you cant be a genius in everything..."

I wanted to punch his shoulder but i also wanted to hug and kiss him. He smiled and took the cigarette from his lips. He leaned forward and kissed me, allowing me to taste the strong musky taste of tobacco smoke. I allowed my fingers to become entangled into his hair while the other cupped his cheek. 

I pulled away and leaned into his chest, i closed my eyes for a moment as he drew his arms around me. 

"Im scared Mell." He whispered. I nodded in agreement, how much longer would we have to be like this? Why didnt we forgive each other sooner? Why didnt i focus on work less-

"I love you." I said without thinking. He looked down at me and squeezed me a bit tighter.

"I love you too." He paused. "Maybe this is it..."

"What?" I asked looking up at him. He chuckled lightly. 

"Our purpose." He said. I hesitated before shrugging. 

"Sucky purpose." He mumbled leaning his head. I look up at him.

"Well it has to be someones." I point out. He nods and sighs.

"But why us?"  
.  
.  
That was a week ago. And now i lost my Matt. Our last goodbye was nothing special, we kissed and he got into the car and rolled down the window shield. With one hand on the steering wheel and his other arm leaning on the outside of the car we smirked at me.

"Ready to kick some kira ass?" He asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Matt please be serious." I said putting on my helmet. He clicked his tongue at me, winked, and did a hand pistol at me. I rolled my eyes as he sped away, laughing.

It didnt feel like our last goodbye- why didnt i listen to him? We shouldve taken it slower- he was right. Oh god... He was right.

I pull up to the abandon warehouse.

I'll carry on Matt. 

But first i need a second to regain my composure. I feel tears threatening to spill from my eyes- no! I can cry later. Right now i have business to do! But i cant help it, the tears stream down my cheeks as i cover my mouth to silent my sobs.

Im so sorry Matt... I really am- why did you leave me- why-

I suddenly stiffen up, i feel completely paralyzed as my heart takes steady, painful beats. I shake slightly. Whats going on? It hits me.

Im having a heart attack.

How? Did Takada manage to have a piece of the notebook on her? But how? 

I cant die like this- not without avenging Matt- i cant lose! 

Suddenly, i feel calm. As slowly my vision becomes blurred as i fall forward towards the steering wheel. All humans will eventually die.

But why did it have to be our time?  
.  
.  
.  
"Once dead, they can never come back to life."   
.  
.  
.  
Authors note: this took a bit longer than i expected, but im pretty chill with it. I've just recently became a lot less interested in MelloxNear for MelloxMatt and honestly its managed to surpass Spideypool on my otp charts.

The final quote is from the final chapter of Death Note. I thought it added a nice touch. It was either that or Tsugumi Ohba's equally as great quote "There are no nudists in cold areas." Lmao i hope you all enjoyed it!


End file.
